Skate or Die. . .


For many young people, life has always been busy. It’s even been said that life was overscheduled as youngsters, perhaps a reaction to my generation’s childhood of latchkey kids and freedom like the kids from Stranger Things. For some that did not stop in college, whether it was continuing on with community service projects, joining a fraternity/sorority, playing a club sport, becoming “woke” to a number of political, societal or environmental concerns.


But what happens when you graduate, and you start working? What happened to those days when you could take a nap after your 9am class, what happened to those emails or sign up sheets for reading to the local elementary school kids, what happened to that weekly game of pick up, and friends who were always available to go out for a smoke, or make a late night run for food? Read the rest of this entry »

What’s Your Favorite Tool?


Stretching can sometimes alleviate tight muscles by lengthening them. Other times stretching may not be of help. Imagine a knot: if you pull the two ends, does the knot disappear? Likely not. This is where foam rolling is helpful. I have used a foam roller for almost 3 years. I use it for Self Myofascial Release (SMR). Muscles are comprised of many spindles of fibrous materials.  Basically it’s like taking a rolling pin to flatten a piece of dough, inverted. So people use gravity to “roll out” their muscles on a cylindrical piece of hard foam.


It is true, I am not a physical therapist (though I did aspire to be one in college), and I am still a counselor/therapist, so what does “foam rolling” have to do with counseling? Sometimes our physical bodies require devices/equipment for support, aid in healing, strength building, or optimal functioning. There are many things that our mind/brain need for optimal functioning as well, such as proper rest, nutritious diet, fresh air, etc. Sometimes in life we are faced with challenges, not necessarily bad, or painful, but because it’s a challenge, it’s not routine and can be uncomfortable.


Counseling can be a place to provide tools to alleviate challenges that we may be faced with, whether it’s learning a new set of skills to refocus our thoughts, practicing ways to find calm and peace in difficult situations, looking at alternative ways to engage with other people, etc.


What “tools” are you using to improve your behaviors, relationships, or life?



Living Legacies and MLK for Coping with Loss


Today is the Federally observed day of birth (83rd anniversary) for Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. There are many things to reflect upon, and ponder re: his ideas, actions, and life. This is not a post about such things, but you can read interesting thoughts here or here.


accepting Nobel Peace Prize in 1964

At any given time I will begin to work with a new client re: a loss of a loved one, or  we will talk about the fast approaching anniversary of the passing of a family member. Grief and loss are never easy topics, and require much tip-toeing around to gather information and gauge how much someone is wanting to talk about their feelings or whether he/she just wants to sit with their feelings in a safe place. At some point, a client and I may begin processing the loss, and quite commonly people feel that they are suppose to be in active mourning or grieving the loss out of reverence and respect for those who have passed. It is then I may bring up the great Dr. King.


Whether it’s a child or an adult, almost everyone when asked, is familiar with MLK. I may ask a client to share what they know about him. Then I may ask how they came to know so much about a man who died over 40 years ago, perhaps even before they were born. Usually people give me strange looks at this point, as if I’m in disbelief that they know about MLK. We then will usually talk about the significance of knowing various things about a person we’ve never met, and what would the children of MLK must think knowing that we knew all these things about their father whom we never met. Usually the client will say that his children are probably happy knowing that their father is not forgotten, and that he continues to be a significant or important person in society today.

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